Holiday Lights

Recently, my friend brushed so close to death that her skin became luminescent, and the fingers on her left hand grew longer and more graceful. I noticed this when she lifted that hand to show me how she’d surrendered. I suspect she was either bidding the others in the room farewell or she was offering her hand and the rest of herself to the Larger. She doesn’t know. But at that moment, a Boundless Tangibility of Peace overcame the reluctance in her lungs, and she lived. It was that close. I like looking at her. She’s always had an easy laugh and a generous ear, but now she glows.

Three years ago, I decorated random pieces of yard art with solar-powered holiday lights, and they’ve flickered ever since, faithfully announcing the arrival of a thousand nightfalls. Of course, I know that eventually the lights will go out and my friend will stop glowing, but the pressing question is this: What are we supposed to do in the meantime? How should we greet each sunrise when we find ourselves alive? How do we handle the twinkling blue as daylight fades? My friend isn’t sure. Neither am I. We think it has something to do with acceptance. Authenticity. Doing our best.

But who knows? My Co-author does, but it’s tough to get a straight answer.

“Now honey-pie, y’know that ain’t true.” God has shown up. He protests in an awful imitation of a Southern drawl. “Y’all make this a bigger puzzle than it needs to be. I’ve been damn straight on this since forever. Love, give, and rejoice until you cannot do it anymore. Then fold.”

“You make it sound easy, but it’s not,” I say, feeling both insolent and amused.

“Want me to spell it out, darlin’?” God asks, long arms crossed over galactic chest, looking impish.

“Yeah,” I say. “Spell it out.”

“Love.” God says as if he’s in a spelling bee. “L. O. V. E.”

“Very funny,” I say.

“Then laugh,” God says. “Laugh your greedy, frightened, malignant, time-limited ass off.”

“I don’t mean funny like that,” I counter. “I mean you aren’t much help. I can spell ‘love’ all by myself.”

“Oh, really?” God asks and waits.

“Really,” I say firmly. But I’m lying. I’ll be asking for help within minutes. With apologies to Robert Frost, I’m often a lost child in the confusing woods when it comes to love.

“Now, ain’t that the Truth?” The Boundless Tangibility of Peace says to the Larger.

“For certain,” The Larger says. “Them woods is lovely, dark, and deep. But they ain’t no place for a chubby-cheeked babe.”

This cracks us up and we laugh our fool heads off. Yes, God is Love, the Big Breast in the Sky, the Larger, the Smaller, the Woods, the Clay, the Life, the Death. And yes, God is the Way Home. But until then, there’s work to do, and we all know how it’s spelled.

8 thoughts on “Holiday Lights

  1. Wonderful. Every time I read this blog, I want to crow and offer superlatives. But the most important thing that comes across here, which is most deserving of praise, is that you have an heart-level humility which allows you to accept your finitude. Bless you and your husband.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, I happen to know that you are so, so special. This is because your writing reflects an awareness of just how finite, frail, and broken you are. I’m learning to do this myself and am finding as I accept these and other difficult limitations, “Her” Grace is sufficient for me. I’m learning to embrace my humanness…as you have and are doing…and as I’m doing this I realize that there is a Specialness about me. She is helping me to see this as I “get over myself” daily. This Grace and Wisdom that flows through your work did not come easy. Bless you for what you are doing with this blog.

        Carry on!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. L.O.V.E.
    (repeat until you cannot do it anymore)
    Yep. That’s it. Simple.
    But must be practiced often – daily? hourly? every moment? – or it isn’t simple and feels very difficult.
    Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Regular people manage one of the three once a month or so. Saints among us seem to center themselves in those words and their enactment. I aspire to be those ways in the moment, but…. it is good to have aspirations!! Thanks for posting…

      Liked by 1 person

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