In my latest arrangement, Ms. Piggy flirts with the dirty old man. She leans back, at ease on the sheepskin rug, legs crossed. Seductive. The ICE agent, the Lamb, and Nemo bear witness, pleased
with their soft contradictions, thus suggesting there’s a God.
For most of us, it really doesn’t matter. The packing has begun. Be sure to take out the trash before your ride arrives to drive you to the Pearly Gates.
In the meantime, we should all be gluing agates and bones to broken glass, carefully framing what we use. Have you made the acquaintance of sticks and stones? Their suspended animation is a ruse.
We are all embodied ashes. We are all embodied dust. It’s what we think we know that keeps us going and what we throw away that tells the truth.
We must sand the imperfections and dig the soft decay from the twisted roots and branches we’ve dragged in. The storm creates a crazy kind of hunger in our guts. This shale with tiny fossils is no match for vicious wind.
So let us wander to the busy beastly kitchen and scrounge for scraps we can eat and comprehend. When leftovers are reheated, they become more than when they started, and there’ll never be an end.
Julian of Norwich is seated at our table. All shall be well, and all shall be well, And all manner of things shall be well, she tells our inner selves.
That which falls apart shall reassemble. Ashes cleanse the glass and enhance the unruly garden we call home. And when the holy storms die down, dust settles into sediment, congealing under pressure back to stone.
A Thousand Hands woke me, waving feather dusters, exasperated. “We're forever cleaning up after you” “That’s rich!” I said. “I could say the same about you.” “Oh, don’t even try that ‘blame God’ thing. We’re not responsible for these terrible messes.” “How about the raw material? Where’s all the dust come from?” I asked. But I already knew.
A Thousand Hands grabbed my hands and stared at my palms. “We see a long, productive life. Children. Soulmate. Gardens and compost piles. Students. Eight or nine remodels. Trees. Books. Friends. Logs. Dogs. Pigs. Sticks. Stones…an unwieldy number of stones.” I grinned and pulled my hands back to look for myself.
A Thousand Hands turned palms up. I gasped. “I see glaciers melting. The beautiful quaking of planets,” I said. “I see moons rising over the pockmarks of black holes and mass graves. There are streams of gleaming molecules ascending, my own and those of everything, ever.” I glanced skyward. “You aren’t safe in any way, are you?”
A Thousand Hands knit their fingers together, creating shelter over my head. Deep lines crisscrossed the firmament, blocking the ordinary sun. The only light remaining was the radioactive residue of the unrevealed. “No. Not safe in any way,” A Thousand Hands agreed. Ominous shadows fell hard around the edges. . “I’m a little bit afraid,” I said. “So are we,” the Hands admitted. “And weary to the bone. But we’re not giving up.” “Why not?” I asked. “The messes are getting worse.” “It’s the role-model thing,” they smiled. “We’re setting a good example.”
And it was evening. And it was morning. But I had lost count of the days.
Because I’m preoccupied about planning for the end, I’ve surveyed the old homestead and chosen a spot to decompose. But until recently, I was unaware that family pets were already buried there. Turns out, when the time comes, I’ll be surrounded by well-loved bones.
“You already are.” A Thousand Hands squeezed my corporeal shoulders, knuckles cracking so loud I thought the house had caught fire. “Now let’s finish cleaning so we have time to play.”
“Fine,” I said. “What shall we play?” “Handball,” They declared, gleefully slapping a thousand thighs. “Not funny.” I shook my head. “C’mon, sport,” They teased. “You’ll have the home court advantage.”
I nodded toward my rock collection. In the dead of winter, thin layers of ash collect on the rugged surfaces, blurring the subtle distinctions. We grabbed a thousand rags and scrubbed until the stones floated home in interstellar joy.
"Time to play," the Hands declared. And I agreed. It was time to play.
Short visits with an honest God 